May 30th, 2010- During

Randy and I spent a long time writing our ceremony and thinking about what we wanted to say. We had been talking about it for so long and thinking about it and a month before the wedding we still hadn’t written anything. We finally had some good weather on a weekend in London and walked over to Regent Park. We sat there on the grass for hours and wrote the whole ceremony. It was another one of those perfect weather, blue sky, warm London days that anyone reading this blog would think happened all the time but was actually so rare.

We asked Shawn, Randy’s brothers in law to officiate the ceremony and it was the best choice. With lots of experience reporting he spoke clearly and kept everyone interested. Everyone loved it. Randy’s best friend Miguel was his best man.

My mom and Youssey walked down the aisle first. This is another one of my favourite pictures.

Then Randy’s sister walked down with Roman. Then Daphne, who was my maid of honor of course, walked down.

Then Hania, my beautiful flower girl. Her adorable brother decided to join in.

Then it was my turn. I remember hardly anything of walking down the aisle except wanting to get to the end. I was nervous but once I saw this face I remember immediately feeling calm.

We thought a lot about what readings we wanted to have read. We finally came across the book Extract from Adam’s Diary, by Mark Twain. It is a satirical telling of Adam and Eve relationship from Adam’s point of view. We both thought it was different and funny and talked about love in a different way and was perfect for our ceremony.

We had Puraj read this:

Monday

This new creature with the long hair is a good deal in the way. It is always hanging around and following me about. I don’t like this; I am not used to company. I wish it would stay with the other animals…Cloudy today, wind in the east; think we shall have rain…WE??? Where did I get that word? …I remember now – the new creature uses it.

Ten Years Later

After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her. At first I thought she talked too much; but now I should be sorry to have that voice fall silent and pass of my life.

Blessed be that fallen apple that brought us near together and taught me to know the goodness of her heart and the sweetness of her spirit!

And Gabby read this:

After the Fall

The Garden is lost., but I have found him, and am content. He loves me as well as he can; I love him with all the strength of my passionate nature, and this, I think, is proper to my youth and gender. If I ask myself why I love him, I find I do not know, and do not really care to know; so I suppose this kind of love is not a product of reasoning and statistics, like one’s love for other reptiles and animals. I think this must be so.

I love certain birds because of their song; but I do not love Adam on account of his singing – no, it is not that;

The more he sings the more I do not get reconciled to it. Yet I ask him to sing because I wish to learn to like everything he is interested in. I am sure I can learn, because at first I could not stand it, but now I can stand it. It sours the milk, but it doesn’t matter, I could get used to that kind of milk.

It is not on account of his brightness that I love – no, it is not that. He is not to blame for his brightness, such as it is, for he did not make it himself; he is as God made him, and that is sufficient. There was a wise purpose in it; that I know. In time it will develop, though I think it will not be sudden; and, besides, there is no hurry; he is well enough just as he is.

It is not on account of his education that I love him. No, it is not that. He is self-educated, and does really know a multitude of things, but they are not so.

Then why is it that I love him? Merely because he is masculine, I think. At bottom he is good, and I love him for that, but I could love him without it. He is strong and handsome, and I love him for that, and I admire him and I am proud of him, but I could love him without these qualities. If he were plain, I should love him; if he were a wreck I should love him; and I would work for him, and pray for him and watch by his bedside until I died.

And so I think it is as I first said; that this kind of love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes – no one knows whence – and cannot explain itself. And doesn’t need to.

We each chose a poem to read.

I chose “Marriage is”, which was written by a Chinese author in the first century.

Here is what I said about choosing that poem;

I have chosen this poem because it reminds me why I want to spend the rest of my life with you as my husband. Each and every day that I have spent with you, you have challenged me to become a better, more rounded, calmer person. You help me be the person I have always desired to be and I can only hope I am able to do the same for you.

Marriage is a dynamic process of discovery

Marriage is a journey, not an arrival.

In marriage, being the right person is as important

as finding the right person.

Marriage is starting to love, over and over again.

Marriage is a life’s work.

Marriage is an art ….. and like any creative process,

It requires active thought and effort.

We have to learn how to share on many different levels.

We need to practice talking from the heart,

And understanding attitudes as well as words.

Giving generously and receiving graciously

are talents that are available to anyone.

But all these skills need to be developed,

if the marriage picture that we paint is to be anything

approaching the masterpiece intended.

Randy chose Love One Another by Khalil Gibran.

Here is what he said about why he chose this poem:

This poem means a lot to me. It encapsulates perfectly my view that real love is meant to facilitate each person’s spiritual growth, not overpower either person’s individuality. You, more than anyone, understand that. You are giving when I need your care and attention, you are sensitive when it is time for self-reflection and distance. It is a delicate balance. One that we have practiced a great deal and will hopefully have the chance to master.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other’s cup, but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous,

but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone

though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping;

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together;

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,